By: Micah Stipech
Published April 1st, 2022
On Tuesday, March 29, students were baffled as police officers showed up on campus who were conducting interviews and arrested Elaine Zimmerman, class of 2025.
The charges? Hosting an underground poker club in the Academic Building.
Officer Ken Hopkins was the arresting officer. He says, “Sure, she’s a criminal, but she’s also a businesswoman. She must have been [making] thousands of dollars a week.”
We were able to interview Zimmerman at the police station where she was held. She easily confessed.
Public police records reveal gambling, illegal substance use, and possibly yellow double-tailed soup lizard fighting rinks were involved in Zimmerman’s “business.”
“It was actually surprisingly easy to set up,” says Zimmerman. “Highly illegal, yes. But, easy to set up.”
Illegal activity ran wild in the club’s meetings. Even some teachers participated in the “festivities.”
“How was I supposed to know it was illegal?” says teacher Lynda Lin. “It was fun, I only went there because the water was good.”
Zimmerman claims she had no idea she was partaking in any illegal activity but she is was known to “own” the club.
“None of us [police officers] have figured out how she got into such a business,” says Hopkins. “We just hope she used proper precautions. Bodyguards, fake passports, some sort of escape plan.”
Zimmerman had a plan like the police hoped. She says “[The club] was covered, and that’s all that [you need to] know.”
Although she wouldn’t say her original intentions, Zimmerman does reveal why she continued.
She says, “Listen, it was pretty good money, any reasonable person would have done the same. I was able to buy that Lamborghini in my Amazon shopping cart.”
Court cases are infamous for long waiting periods. However, Zimmerman’s trial ended fairly quickly after she took a plea deal.
Zimmerman was issued a three year sentence to Tulare County Juvenile Prison. It is said her connections may double. “We could be looking at a serious future threat.” Officer Hopkins says.
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