By: Ayla Ozturk
April 1st, 2022.
In an art class, spilling paint can get you 20 years in prison. There are robots that ensure the safety of the paint.
A robot says, “The paint is more important than the students.”
Nobody understood why the paints were heavily guarded until a student raged after losing a Fortnite game and attacked a robot. The student requested to be anonymous.
“I was so close! Then cattychin124 attacked me out of nowhere! They were definitely hacking, there’s no way I can lose. I am the best Fortnite player to exist!” the student says.
Rain Bows teaches art at Redwood. She says, “The paints are very radioactive. That’s why they look so good.”
Students were immediately taken to Kaweah Delta Hospital to treat burns and get checked for various cancers and cardiovascular diseases.
Art student Maria Chavez says, “I had a feeling that there was something wrong with the paint. I was always so nauseous after class, but I pinned it on my bee sting from 3 years ago.”
Chavez now suffers from third degree burns and a melted ear.
Her parents intend to sue the school, not for money, but for the robots. Police say the family plans to create an army of robots. The intention is unknown.
The student who spilled the paint plans to “hack cattychin124 and take all of his V-Bucks.”
4 students now have melted faces, 3 ears, and are developing tails. 3 of the students are devastated by the incident, but Johnny Apple, class of 2025, is grateful for his new tail.
He says, “I’ve been wanting a tail for the last two years. I play Dungeons and Dragons with my friends every single day!”
And today is April 1st.
Ayla Ozturk
Ayla Ozturk, class of 2024, is a fourth-year journalism student passionate about leading the News section. She is dedicated to informing students and amplifying their voices through Government and Politics writing.
You can reach her at ayla.oz3769@vusd.us.
Tags: april fools, ha we got you!, redwood gigantea, redwood high school, redwood rangers, satire, visalia ca
