By: Ayla Ozturk
Published April 1st, 2022
Happy picking-out-your-classes season!
While trying to pirate Sims 4, we came across the rosters for the 2022-2023 school year.
Out of curiosity, we looked at the course requests list. We found ur mom on the registration list for Algebra 1.
According to her transcript, she failed the course 6 times. She somehow graduated, but there are no valid mathematics courses on her record.
Algebra 1 instructor Divine Door says, “Yeah, I taught ur mom when she was an actual freshman, she was terribly bad at math.”
We asked ur mom to graph y=3x+9. This is what she did:
Door had a mental breakdown when she saw this image.
Ur mom works as a rocket scientist at National Aeronautics and Space Administration [NASA].
They discovered that her transcripts were falsified and made her go back to high school. Shockingly, she still has her job.
“Yeah, for some reason people don’t want to work for me. It was one racoon ok! We don’t always have racoons in the toilets. The only reason she still has a job is because nobody else will apply for her position to be honest.” NASA Head of Raccoon Rocket Design Jupiter Jetfuel said.
For some odd reason, she embraces her failure. “I can’t do math, and I’m proud of it!” ur mom says.
A friend of ur mom reached out and expressed her concern for ur mom. She says, “[ur mom] is 46 years old, this is getting very concerning. She needs to be fully enrolled in middle school at this point.”
Ur mom will try to pass Algebra 1 and is aiming to do “as little work as possible”.
She says “I just need the credit, man. I want to get back to doing space stuff.”
This is the woman designing rockets.
Ayla Ozturk
Ayla Ozturk, class of 2024, is a fourth-year journalism student passionate about leading the News section. She is dedicated to informing students and amplifying their voices through Government and Politics writing.
You can reach her at ayla.oz3769@vusd.us.
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